As part of our 9^th grade English curriculum, we have re-inserted some Shakespeare, specifically Romeo and Juliet, a tragedy that fits nicely into the course’s coming-of-age theme. Teaching the play for the first time in several years, I am struck by how relevant and timely it is as a depiction of both the wonders and reckless impulsivity of youth.

 

You may recall that in the play, after Romeo falls in love at first sight with Juliet, he confides in the well-meaning Friar Lawrence.  At first the Friar chides Romeo for his romantic impetuousness.  Wasn’t it just days before that Romeo confessed his undying love for Rosaline, the previous subject of his amorous attention?  How could he switch so quickly and so passionately to Juliet?  Through his words, Friar Lawrence demonstrates a strong understanding of adolescent behavior.  He wants Romeo to check his emotions and not move headlong into another relationship, especially given that Juliet is a member of the Capulets, Romeo’s sworn enemies.  Shouldn’t Romeo slow down and give this some more thought?  This is the kind of counsel a caring adult would offer today as well.  Even when Friar Lawrence ultimately agrees to help the young lovers, he offers this cautionary advice to Romeo: “Wisely and slow.  They stumble that run fast.” 

 

Those words resonate with me in terms of how we guide teenagers effectively.  One of our roles as adults in their lives is to find the appropriate opportunities to encourage them to “go for it,” but also to help slow them down.  We know sometimes they “run fast” and may get ahead of themselves socially, academically, artistically and athletically.  They want us to loosen the reins, and sometimes that is appropriate, but there are other times when we need to help them to move “wisely and slow” for their own good.

 

That’s not to say we should squash all their spontaneity and impulsivity either. That is one of the best qualities of many an adolescent—and what makes them so much fun to work with.  We also know that to a large extent people must learn by doing and sometimes only experience can teach—in other words, although going “too fast” frequently will have its consequences, we can’t protect them from or warn them against those moments all the time.  Some stumbling is absolutely necessary.

 

So how to strike the right balance?  Another wise person, Benjamin Franklin, perhaps said it best: “Moderation in all things – including moderation.” 

 

In the end, of course, Romeo and Juliet do more than stumble; they take their own lives because their “star-cross’d love” is not accepted in Verona where the adults have other plans for them and old animosities run deep.  The slowness encouraged by the Friar never happens; if anything, the tragedy of the play’s ending accelerates as we get closer to it.  There are forces beyond moderation at work here—love, ancient hatreds, even destiny in the literary sense—all conspire to bring these two impressionable, fast-moving teenagers to an untimely end.