by Mike Davis, Ph.D.
Head of School

Watching the unrestrained joy of Bill Murray as the Chicago Cubs played in and won the World Series was something special.  From leading "Take Me Out to the Ball Game" during the seventh inning stretch in Game 3 to a post-series celebratory video of Murray singing The Band's "The Weight" with Pearl Jam's Eddie Vedder, Murray’s enthusiasm for the little moments in life is something our nation needed this October. 

 

The lyrics of that classic song always affect me: 

 

It's hard to not to associate Bill Murray with one other seminal world figure: the Dalai Lama.  In the classic comedy Caddyshack, Bill Murray's character, Karl Spackler, brags about "looping" for the Dalai Lama on a golf course in the Himalayas:

 

 

The Dalai Lama recently published an op-ed in the New York Times that offers perhaps better and perhaps more practical advice.  The Dalai Lama notes that there is an interesting disconnect in our world today: "In many ways, there has never been a better time to be alive. Violence plagues some corners of the world, and too many still live under the grip of tyrannical regimes. And although all the world’s major faiths teach love, compassion and tolerance, unthinkable violence is being perpetrated in the name of religion. And yet, fewer among us are poor, fewer are hungry, fewer children are dying, and more men and women can read than ever before. In many countries, recognition of women’s and minority rights is now the norm. There is still much work to do, of course, but there is hope and there is progress."

 

He notes how many people who suffer risk their lives to seek a life in the developed nations of the world, yet those "who already live in those promised lands report great uneasiness about their own futures that seems to border on hopelessness."

 

"The Lama" analyzes why this is so. He observes studies that show the importance all humans have to feel needed.  He cites interesting research related to senior citizens who "didn't' feel useful to others" were more likely to die earlier.  On an economic level, he observes that, "In America today, compared with 50 years ago, three times as many working-age men are completely outside the work force. This pattern is occurring throughout the developed world — and the consequences are not merely economic. Feeling superfluous is a blow to the human spirit. It leads to social isolation and emotional pain, and creates the conditions for negative emotions to take root."

 

I sometimes see this in the school setting when parents actually struggle emotionally as their children become more independent.  We all want to feel needed by our children.  As the father of three teenagers, I am so proud of how independent my children are, but wow, do I miss those days when they needed my help with the little things: tying their shoes, helping them with their backpacks, or carrying them after they hurt themselves.  

 

As parents, we seem to feel needed "when the load" is on us.  Caring for and supporting our children is not a "load" but "the weight" of love and responsibility.  As our children grow, we sometimes trade the load of raising children with the load of having raised them and feeling less important in their lives.

 

And so goes the song. Some who have assigned a meaning or origin to the lyrics of “The Weight” say, “It’s a song about a universally human dilemma.”  

 

The Dalai Lama focuses on this important human need: "Being 'needed' does not entail selfish pride or unhealthy attachment to the worldly esteem of others. Rather, it consists of a natural human hunger to serve our fellow men and women. As the 13^th century Buddhist sages taught, 'If one lights a fire for others, it will also brighten one’s own way.'"

 

The Dalai Lama notes that there are so many things we can do: "We should start each day by consciously asking ourselves, 'What can I do today to appreciate the gifts that others offer me?'  We need to make sure that global brotherhood and oneness with others are not just abstract ideas that we profess, but personal commitments that we mindfully put into practice."

 

He even has suggestions for schools: "A compassionate society must provide children with education and training that enriches their lives, both with greater ethical understanding and with practical skills that can lead to economic security and inner peace. A compassionate society must protect the vulnerable while ensuring that these policies do not trap people in misery and dependence."

 

It's good to know that the Dalai Lama would be supportive of some of our educational goals of bringing in mindfulness into our school community, of emphasizing the importance of courage, kindness and service, and in preparing students for work, the world, and college by thinking about their ethical worldview.

 

I hope in our work together at this amazing school that we can channel our "inner Bill Murrays and Dalai Lamas" to find joy and meaning in all that we do.

I encourage you to read the full op-ed by following this link: