Homecoming 2016
Homecoming 2016
On Saturday night, September 17, we will host the first of three dances of the school year. It is by far the most casual, as there are no dates per se, no fancy dresses or tuxes, and definitely no limos! All grades are welcome to attend. We will hold the event on our own campus in the Choir Room on the top floor of Schotters Music Building. A student DJ will provide the music and Community Council (our student government) will be coming up with a dance theme (and provide the decorations). The hours of the event are 8:00 pm-11:00 pm. Students may be dropped off in front of the Upper School or can arrive anytime between 8:00 and 9:30. Students need to be picked up promptly at 11:00 in front of the Upper School.
The dance follows a full day of sports and fun on Homecoming Day. More details about the athletic contests and activities are posted on the website.
Below I am reprinting a memo I have sent out in the past regarding the social dynamics of Homecoming. I would especially encourage parents of 9th graders to read carefully.
One of the best and most challenging aspects of Homecoming is that it is the first opportunity for all Upper School students, freshmen through seniors, to be together in one social mix. I believe that most of our freshmen are ready and able to handle this experience; indeed, this is often viewed as an important rite of passage to move from “Middle Schooler” to “Upper Schooler.” I have heard from many parents who feel the same way. But of course that does mean that some of our less socially experienced, physically smaller 9th graders might suddenly find themselves side by side with a much larger, more mature (we hope) senior. This juxtaposition alone can be intimidating for some, even though I heartily maintain that our older students do a great job of not being purposely intimidating. We have a very welcoming student body and, for the most part, our older students take on the roles of “big brother” or “big sister” very responsibly. This is one of the positive outcomes of being in a family-oriented school where all ages co-exist on campus.
Still, a dilemma for me as Upper School Head is how to help students and parents prepare themselves for these new experiences. Part of what I and others can do is to explain the expectations for behavior at these events. All school rules are in effect of course, and we hold high standards for student conduct even in casual, social settings. This year’s Homecoming activities are to remain “clean and fun” events in order to ensure their future existence. However, no amount of talking it through or preparing can substitute for the experiences themselves. Some new experiences may be eye-opening, different than expected, or may even prove to be painful, uncomfortable, or confusing. We as adults are available to help them process these outcomes, but we cannot make everything go seamlessly. I know most students will have a wonderful time on Homecoming, and our older students will be appropriate role models.
Parents who are new to having high school students may feel they have entered a strange new world in terms of their children’s social scene. These all-school social events sometimes play a role in heightening this feeling of disequilibrium. At times, younger students have explained the behavior of older students in some limited ways: the senior who was acting “crazy” at the dance must have been “drunk,” or the two older students seen together must have been planning to “hook up” later in the evening. If parents receive any of this information, I would advise all of you to put on the appropriate filters here; 14- and 15-year-old students have limited perspectives on which to base their assessments of a given situation, especially when they are in a social milieu that is new to them. I can assure all parents that we are vigilant about monitoring student behavior at the dance. The ten or more chaperones we have at any given dance, for example, have discussed what to watch for, when to report something or confront a student, and when to simply let teenagers be teenagers. If necessary, I and/or school counselor Liza Skipwith will also follow up at school the next week with any student whose behavior was regarded to be suspicious or of concern. Our usual course of action in these cases is one of counseling not discipline. Of course, if there is a specific, verifiable case of inappropriate behavior or a violation of a school rule, we do not hesitate to turn the matter over to our disciplinary procedures, as described in detail in our Upper School Handbook. I encourage parents to let me know of any concerns, and I assure you I will look into the matter. There are limitations to the investigative work we can do; generally speaking, I can only look into allegations regarding something that has happened on campus. Behavior that may have occurred before or after a dance may be beyond our scope. Thus, I ask for parent help and cooperation both with the school and with each other. We can all play a significant role in keeping our children safe and in situations where they are most apt to make the best decisions possible. I also strongly encourage that you communicate openly and directly with your children about your expectations for Homecoming day and night.
In all, Homecoming is a longstanding, positive, and community-building day. That Saturday is full of wonderful activity for our high school students and indeed our whole school community. I look forward to September 17 with great spirit and anticipation.
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