Starting the school year is like opening a birthday present as a child. There is lots of anticipation and, even if you shake the box quite a bit, there will be a nice surprise once you get it opened! I can still remember the butterflies I had in my stomach the first day I went to my new school as a seventh grader. I knew in my heart that it was going to be a great school filled with nice kids and thoughtful teachers, but I still had butterflies. As it turned out, the experience for me was even better than I anticipated. I met life-long friends, discovered new interests, and was stretched in ways I did not expect. I hope that this school year, whether you are new to CA or a “lifer,” offers the same opportunities to grow.

 

That is really at the heart of the issue: becoming the person you believe you can be — the kind thoughtful, moral, responsible, and hard-working person that we believe that we can become. This is ultimately what growing up is about, and schools, really good schools, are catalysts in this process. Schools provide the setting for young people to explore who they are now while encouraging each to develop new predispositions, skills and abilities. It is most often in school that children discover their passions.

 

While we may prioritize as a society success in the classroom, it is good to remember that the collaborative, leadership and social skills also learned at school will be equally important to our children’s long-term success and happiness.

 

There will be “bumps” in the road for each child, I’m sure. Some will be academic in nature; others will be social or interpersonal. How we come together to help each child overcome will be one of the measures of our success. When something comes up, I hope that you will view us as partners in helping to make the situation as positive a learning experience as it can be.

 

Please remember that there are many resources available for parents and students. Most often, I encourage you to bring an issue to the attention of your son’s or daughter’s teacher or to her advisor. At times, Kate Van Cott, our school counselor, is the person to be in touch with. At other times, I will be the right resource. Unless it is an emergency, my encouragement is to communicate by email, as this is our teachers’ preferred mode of communication during the school day. We will then do our very best to be back in touch the same day if possible, within 24 hours 99% of the time.

 

I am often asked what parents of Middle Schoolers can do to best support their child during this stage of development. My answer, tongue in cheek, is “as little as possible.” This is because the developmental task of teenagers is to get to know themselves and to struggle to become slowly by slowly more capable, self-reliant and independent. In this sense, during the next six or seven years, we, as parents, take small steps into the background so that our children can take small steps toward greater responsibility. The tricky part, and there always is a tricky part, when parenting is knowing what “as little as possible” looks like. Some kids in Middle School still need a parent’s hand firmly on the steering wheel. For others, it is possible to judiciously take a step back and let our child work more independently because they are ready for the challenge. This process of encouraging independence, evaluating the result and trying again often leads to excellent long-term results even if the immediate outcome of the experiment is a “C” on a test or quiz. When we were learning to ride a bike, our parents eventually had to let go to see what would happen.

 

Sometimes the result was a big smile, sometimes it was a skinned knee and a bit more information about what NOT to do when pedaling. One of the great things about the Middle School years is that they are largely a time of rehearsal, not the main event. The stakes are relatively low and the returns possible in self-confidence and improved skills and strategies are high.

 

If you are like me, the summer provided a bit of time to refresh, retool and refocus. Getting away, even briefly, from the day-to-day necessities creates fresh perspective on shared priorities. As we join together this year to help each child grow, I hope we are mutually committed to:

 

While not “content” specific learning outcomes, I firmly believe that if we approach the school year with these ideas in mind, good things will happen. I look forward to our work (and play) together. If there is any way that I can be supportive of your son or daughter, please do not hesitate to contact me.