by Mike Davis, Ph.D.
Head of School

Schools are institutions centered upon human interactions and originally were founded in this country to teach essential skills to young people through the transmission of knowledge from a teacher to a pupil. An advertisement posted in the Virginia Gazette in 1772 read, “Wanted Immediately: A Sober diligent Schoolmaster capable of teaching READING, WRITING, ARITHMETICK, and the Latin TONGUE... Any Person qualified as above, and well recommended, will be put into immediate Possession of the School, on applying to the Minister of Charles Parish, York County.”

 

Sobriety and content mastery went a long way back then. As the colonies evolved, the ambitions for schools grew. The charter for Yale in 1701 described the school “wherein Youth may be instructed in the Arts and Sciences [and] through the blessing of Almighty God may be fitted for Publick employment both in Church and Civil State.” Like many early schools and colleges, Yale sought to produce graduates who would contribute to the economy, but also to the improvement of society, specifically through the ministry. After the American Revolution, the concept of Republican Motherhood, or the idea that women should play a major role in creating a unique American identity through modeling essential “American” values led to more attention on women’s education.

 

This was a key moment in education as teaching became a vocation that women could pursue for employment. In the next two centuries, there came the idea of compulsory education, the growth of public schools, the emergence of landgrant and research universities, hard-fought battles for racial integration in American schools, and countless other developments. By the 20th century, schools were viewed as agents of change. John Dewey’s words are inscribed at Teacher’s College in New York: “Schools are the fundamental method of social progress and reform.”

 

The power of any school community lies in how individual members of the community interact and work with one another. In the early days of education, schoolmasters were usually strict disciplinarians. It took many, many years for ideas about education and teaching to become more student-centered. According to the National Association of Independent Schools, parents choose private schools for five major reasons: a safe environment, high-quality academics, character development, individual attention, and small class sizes. Every one of these qualities is based on human interaction and a willingness to engage in challenging conversations about individual growth. Students do naturally evolve, but very few, in my experience, are intrinsically endowed as master writers, thinkers, mathematicians, linguists, artists, or athletes. These skills take time and critical feedback to develop. The reasons why parents and students select schools such as CA are built on an assumption of trust in the institution and a belief in the value of an institution’s practices. One cannot teach character without employing a discipline system that has consequences. One cannot expect high levels of academic achievement without difficult conversations about how a child can improve his/her writing and thinking.

 

Schools are places with amazing potential because of these human relationships, but because of the inherent fallibility in all humans — both the young and the old — there are also entities that have the potential for much conflict.

 

In any given day, students will have hundreds of interactions with their peers and adults. Most will be related to the process of simply making it through the day and, the vast majority will be positive. These are essentially low-level interactions with low stakes. Then, there are key moments that have higher stakes, such as approaching a teacher about a grade, getting into an argument with a friend, learning you didn’t make the lead in the play, getting teased by fellow students, getting up the courage to ask someone out on a date, etc. These are the interactions that have the potential to challenge our emotions and our self-esteem. As we work with students and families in these situations, I am frequently impressed by the resilience of both children and adults to move on from those inevitable unpleasant moments. Ultimately, it’s about learning from the good and the bad. But, it’s not always easy.

 

No school can promise an experience free of some conflict. I would argue that learning to manage and cope with conflict is essential to being a fully functioning human being. It is easy to blame others for our problems, but the act of resolving differences takes a higher level of energy and self-awareness. Many world religions, of course, talk about the power of forgiveness and reconciliation. To put in a secular perspective, one might look at what the Mayo Clinic has to say about the positives related to health, including “healthier relationships, greater spiritual and psychological well-being, less anxiety, stress and hostility, lower blood pressure, fewer symptoms of depression, stronger immune system, improved heart health, and higher self-esteem.”

 

I look back at my own education and point to a number of key moments that weren’t always fun. In fourth grade, I failed a math test. I feared going home that day and vividly recall walking across the playground in tears trying to figure out what to do. I decided at that moment to become a teacher. My 10-year-old brain thought that life would be easier if I only had the teacher’s edition! In seventh grade, my school soccer team won the city championship. Being a seventh grader on a predominantly eighth-grade team, I only got a few minutes of playing time. During the celebration, an eighth grader ridiculed me and asked me what I was celebrating for since I didn’t “really contribute.” I was devastated and deflated, but I learned something about human nature and my own need to be more resilient. In ninth grade, after transferring late in the term to an independent school such as CA, where I was struggling academically, I had to spend many hours of Thanksgiving break at my biology teacher’s house getting tutored on all that I didn’t understand. Although painful at the time, I look back, and am so grateful that this teacher was willing to spend her own time to help me learn. I remember in the late spring of my senior year being faced with the possibility of an extremely low grade in a class because I had stopped doing my homework. “Senioritis” or not, I faced the possibility of losing a scholarship because of my dip in grades. In the end, I made up every assignment.

 

These are the moments we all grow from. While a person’s transcript or resume might reveal grades, honors, degrees, fellowships and awards, it won’t show the personal struggles it takes to achieve them. Having teachers lead children through those tough times and challenging them to do better are the kinds of human interactions we want for our children. These are experiences that prepare young people for more difficult demands down the road — defending a dissertation, digging deep to improve the quality of one’s work, or doing a task again and again until it is right. So, as parents, welcome those more difficult conversations, and relish the vulnerability of children as they learn in a place so centered on human interaction.