While sitting in the stands recently watching my son's baseball game, I saw a sight that sadly has become commonplace in youth sports. The umpire made a call that caused an eruption in the stands.

We see this all the time in collegiate and professional games, but it is always interesting when it plays out live with only about 50 people in the audience. What was interesting about this encounter was the heckling didn't immediately stop. Parents on the opposing side kept yelling and challenging the umpire (a kid in his early 20s) demanding that he call an “out” on the play. It kept going and going until the umpire said, "That's enough...Play ball!" Parents sitting around me were in disbelief. "It's not like we are in the majors," one parent observed. I wondered what the nine- and ten-year-old players on both teams were thinking as these parents were screaming at this poor guy. Did they even care?

I sat there wondering why anyone would ever want to referee youth sports. Rarely does anyone say "thank you," and calls made with the best intentions to teach a young player about the rules are often met with derision or worse. As the game continued (endlessly, by the way), I watched this umpire. During each inning, he would give a player on the field some piece of advice or explain a rule to them. It would happen quickly, but it was intentional on his part to help these young athletes understand the game of baseball.

I also began to think about why parents cared so much about this call. To be sure, no one likes to see unfairness. But bad calls (this actually wasn't one) are part of any sport, and rarely does one call ever determine the outcome of a contest. There was something different about this outburst. It felt like the parents were putting something into this game that had no place at a contest of children this age: a win-at-all-costs mentality. They were willing to model incredibly bad sportsmanship for their young boys to try to get their way. (Bad language. Disrespectful behavior towards an authority figure.) It was really pretty shameful.

It made be think of the "high stakes" world our society has imposed upon our children and its effects. There is a recent article in the New York Times that looks at cheating in schools and notes that it is particularly prevalent among high-achieving students. In the past year, there have been high-profile cheating scandals at Harvard and the Air Force Academy. The article examines some of the causes. Certainly technology is part of the challenge. It's very easy to cut, copy, and paste, as well as to share information digitally. Students can get sloppy with citing their work--it is important to note that plagiarism is not always about intent, but simply a failure to acknowledge the work of others in the final product. But, the article points to a lot of intentional cheating and academic dishonesty. Educational institutions have a responsibility to be vigilant and to not set students up to cheat by being lax or unclear in giving out assignments. But, schools also must do all that we can to explain to students why it is wrong and teach students about integrity. What can help with this, as the article suggests, is reducing the pressure on students to always succeed.

The article takes aim at the role of schools, but also talks about that of parents. It quotes Tricia Bertram Gallant, author of Creating the Ethical Academy and director of the academic integrity office at the University of California at San Diego: "We have a culture now where we have real trouble accepting that our kids make mistakes and fail, and when they do, we tend to blame someone else."

That certainly happened at my son's baseball game. My son's team lost the game and the coach invited the parents to listen to his post-game talk to the kids. "You guys did great today. I hope you had fun. Did you guys have fun?" You can guess the answer.