"Listen."

 

Adults tend to do a lot of talking, particularly if they are around children. In the course of their day, teachers working with students ask questions, give directives, provide help, and shout out encouragement. Parents do the same at home. In the separate spheres of school and family, we try to provide structure and organization for our children. These two separate worlds collide on Parent/Teacher conference days. It's the time when the school and family come to together to talk about a student's progress. Both sides learn about what their child is doing in that other sphere. Sometimes, adults do a lot of talking. However, it is more important that we listen.
 

 

I just had some of my conferences, and as usual, I was blown away by the insight that each of my children's teachers have into the lives and personalities of my kids. As we all know, there are some things that our kids do at home that they also do at school. But, they also interact differently in the school environment. There are obviously many factors for this -- the presence of friends, the social dynamic in a particular group of students, the different organizational structure of a classroom versus the home environment, and more.  But, I find it fascinating to listen and to learn about what my kids are doing in school. I learn what things I need to help them with and what questions I should be asking at home. I also learn about areas where I need to back down and let my children confront various challenges independently. Every teacher with whom we met asked a lot of questions and listened when my wife and I talked about the things we see at home. It was a great learning experience as parents.
 

 

I want to thank all of our faculty for the time and thought that they put into the conferences that are occurring throughout the school this week. The care and concern they have for our children really comes through. Parents, it is important to remember that our care and concern also comes through when we raise issues that need to be addressed. Honesty about a child's progress (or lack thereof) is a fundamental part of our ethic as teachers. We want to help children grow and improve. A great teacher I used to work with once addressed a group of ninth grade parents by saying, "I hate to tell you this, but your child is not at the apex of his or her intellectual development." The line got a good laugh, but we need to remember this. It would be terrible if our children were perfect. Life might be easier, but we would miss out on the shared experience of helping a young person grow and mature into something truly amazing. That development only happens with time, direct conversations, and encouragement.

 

My advice for parents after conferences is always to talk to your kids. Reinforce the good things you heard. But, don't shy away from taking on the areas for improvement. I find mapping out some goals is always a good thing. Help your children aim higher, but make sure that they know your support and love for them is unconditional.