Dear Lower School Families,

 

Hooray—it was like a joyous Lower School Reunion this week with our students returning to campus! We were so glad to be together!

 

Last week, we began exploring the book the Formative Five by Tom Hoerr (a recent SPEAK presenter) and explored the concept of empathy. This week, we will review self-control as part of the Formative Five essential skills that every student needs.

 

Daniel Goleman defines self-control as “the ability to modulate and control one’s actions in age-appropriate ways, a sense of inner-control.” Teachers spend time each day focusing on helping students develop self-control in how they manage their school work and engage with their peers in social relationships. The development of self-control requires continued practice and fine-tuning over periods of time. Hoerr refers to the Stanford Marshmallow Experiment in 1960 as a great example to view research on this topic. (If you have not seen this research, I encourage you to check it out.)

 

Hoerr shares there are five basic steps to develop self-control: 

 

Students need to understand the importance of self-control. Adults should elicit conversations with children about what self-control looks like and feels like in various situations. This allows the adult to set expectations about what should and should not occur at home, at school, and in social situations.

 

As students develop an awareness of rules and expectations, adults should help students develop an understanding of why those rules and expectations exist and why compliance is expected. Also, it is important to discuss why compliance can sometimes be difficult.

 

Students establish goals—one for inside school and one for outside school—as they relate to self-control. In establishing goals, be proactive and review what may be an obstacle in achieving this goal. Explore how the obstacles impact them and how they plan to address them.  A goal example for school may be to resist talking to friends during classwork time, and a goal example for home may be to sit at the table during family dinner until everyone has finished their meal.

 

Once students have had time to pursue their goals, the idea of transferring what they are learning to new areas begins. A key in this process is to draw from experiences when new challenges arise. It is always a good idea to reflect and revise if the goals need to be readdressed.

 

The monitoring stage allows students to understand what they have accomplished and why it worked for them.

 

Children do not inherently know how to practice and demonstrate self-control. The qualities of self-control must be taught, modeled, and practiced (repeatedly) throughout a child’s development. Hoerr cites that the “best way to strengthen willpower and give students a leg up, studies indicate, is to make it into a habit.” Self-control is a great habit to develop and one that we are working to support at all grade levels in the Lower School. Next week, we will explore Integrity.

 

We are celebrating the 100th Day of School on Wednesday, February 3. Please see the 100 Days flyer for more information. Wishing you a wonderful weekend!

 

Kind regards,

Angie Crabtree

LS Principal