Thanks to everyone who joined us for the MS Parent Association meeting last week. It was great to see everyone. The meeting focused on a presentation by Nick Haisman-Smith, a founder of the Institute for Social and Emotional Learning, IFSEL. Nick was one of the consultants who helped the Middle School revise our advisory program over the past few years. He is an expert in adolescent development and supporting young people develop their intra and interpersonal skills. 

I have attached the slides from his presentation. The long and short of his message was that kids benefit from our intentional efforts to support them in growing their skills, pandemic or no pandemic.  He emphasized that while the pandemic and social distancing create obstacles, there is still plenty that we can do as parents to support our kids in growing toward greater independence. 

Nick highlighted a number of difficult issues that the pandemic has brought into children’s lives and how important it is for us to support and encourage our kids when they face:

• Persistent uncertainty          
• Ambiguous loss           
• Missed milestones           
• Grief, trauma, loss           
• Social isolation           
• Loud inner critical voices

After recognizing that this is a difficult time, he framed many ways that we can encourage resilience and skill development. Among Nick’s suggestions were:

• To be aware of changes and gently name them           
• Honor what is—including the grief and/or joy          
• Empower and find ways for our kids to feel successful and be problem solvers           
• Find the line between “I know you can handle this…” (Confidence) and “I’m here for you.” (Support)          
• Offer—active listening, emotional support, and the chance to problem solve together           
• Where possible, model healthy emotion regulation—children are watching us closely

There is no question that this is a challenging time for kids and adults. In my mind, it brings to the fore how important all of our efforts will be, both at home and at school, to support students and provide skill practice with feedback. Helping kids develop the “soft skills” of decision making, empathy building, communication, and friendship navigation is every bit as important as the academic skills we encourage.