Adventure, Embarrassment, and Senior Wisdom

Next week, the Middle School will head off for adventure. During Interim Week, students will learn to cook, canoe, design, fish, rappel, dance, climb, backpack, and so much more (see the catalog here). These experiences are phenomenal opportunities for challenge and growth, if the kids can find the courage to take risks. The risks we want are not about jumping off cliffs; we want them to risk embarrassment. 

We are social animals, and in Middle School, as we are learning to navigate our society, nothing is more important than acceptance. Kids often feel that their biggest threat is not physical danger, but social ostracization, which is why so many teens take risks that adults think are crazy. To a Middle Schooler, social rejection is much worse than a trip to the hospital. Most parents can recall a moment when their child stressed over wearing a particular shirt or begged to stay home after a bad haircut. These moments feel ridiculously unbalanced to adults, but to a teenager, the threat of embarrassment can cause true white-knuckle fear. Students are less afraid of failing than they are of their classmates seeing them fail.

Back in December, I invited Senior Lucas Mault to a Middle School Town Hall. In front of an audience of 250, he shared that he “used to be terrified of embarrassment” and would avoid taking risks, telling himself he was being careful. In reality, that fear, he shared, “didn’t make me careful, it just made me small…embarrassment [was] running my life.” It took a major embarrassing moment for him to realize that what he feared wasn’t even on the radar of the people whose approval he was seeking. “The people I’d spent so much energy worrying about weren’t even thinking about me.” 

As your child gets ready to take on a challenge next week, this summer, or at any time in the years ahead, support them by not overindulging their fear and by encouraging them to act despite possible embarrassment. Remind them of the wisdom of Lucas Mault, who was one of them not too long ago: “Embarrassment isn’t some enemy to avoid; it’s just a sign that you’re pushing your limits. It means you’re trying something real. Every time you step outside your comfort zone, you’re choosing growth over fear….Whatever it is, that split second of fear before you act—that’s where confidence is born.”

This fall, Lucas will be studying Environmental & Atmospheric Science at the University of Utah. I encourage you to read his inspiring speech below. Even we non-teens might find it useful. 

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Lucas Mault ’26 - Senior Speech

I used to be terrified of embarrassment. The idea of people watching me fail, laugh at me, or even just notice when I messed up made me want to hide. I’d avoid any type of risk just to keep that feeling away. But that fear didn’t make me careful; it just made me small. It kept me from doing the things I actually wanted to do. Everything from speaking up in class to taking risks in sports, and even just talking to new people. I told myself I was being careful, but really, I was just scared.

That all began to change during the most important snowboarding competition I had ever competed in. This wasn’t another little local event; this was the regional qualifiers, the one I’d been training for all season. My coach had even pulled some strings to get a guy from Monster Energy to come watch me. That was huge. I wanted to ride professionally someday, and this felt like my shot to prove that I was capable.

When my name was called, I dialed in and went for my line. Every drop, every spin, every landing—clean. It was all going perfectly. People were cheering. Judges were watching. After I landed my final trick, the victory started to set in. I knew I had just earned myself that first-place spot. As I got down towards the bottom, I started to ride a bit faster, with a little more confidence. I came around the corner and saw the crowd going cray. Right before the finish gate, I popped the biggest ollie I could, just out of pure excitement and celebration. The second I landed, I caught an edge. I tomahawked and faceplanted right at the bottom, in front of the entire crowd, right in front of the Monster rep. 

All that work, all that build-up, gone in a split second. Lying there in the snow, my goggles full of powder, I just felt this awful wave of embarrassment. I thought, ‘This is it. Everyone’s watching. I just blew it.’

But when I finally stood up, I was taken by surprise. The people watching weren’t laughing. My friends were still getting hype from the fence. My coach gave me a nod like, “You’re good.” The evaluator? He didn’t look disappointed. He just looked…human, like he’d been there before too.

That’s when it hit me: The people I’d spent so much energy worrying about weren’t even thinking about me. They were living their own lives, chasing their own goals, falling in their own ways. 

That fall hurt, but it also freed me.

After that, everything changed. I started to realize how much embarrassment had been running my life, and how little it actually mattered.

I slowly started to put myself out there. I signed up for my first theater production, something I never thought I’d do in a million years. The thought of an audience staring at me in the spotlight sounded like a nightmare. Fast-forward five years, and it’s now one of my biggest passions.

That confidence started bleeding into all other aspects of my life. I began to make myself look stupid in every one of my sports photos just to serve as a reminder that embarrassment isn’t an emotion to fear. I started doing dance battles at Homecoming, and let’s be clear, I’m no dancer, I have no business doing a dance battle against one of the best hip hop dancers in the state, but still, there I was, out there laughing and having a good time. And all of a sudden, I had stopped caring about what others thought of me and started to build some of my favorite memories. And the coolest part? That mindset started to spread.

One day, my friend Craig and I decided for no reason at all to just shave off our eyebrows. Just for fun. The old me would’ve hidden at home for weeks. But this time, I walked around like nothing had happened. And nobody could believe it. Some laughed, some stared, but by the end of the day, everyone was just having fun with it. We made it normal. That goofy decision turned into a lesson that confidence is contagious.

See, when you stop caring about looking perfect, you give other people permission to stop caring too. And that’s what this whole thing comes down to. Embarrassment isn’t some enemy to avoid; it’s just a sign that you’re pushing your limits. It means you’re trying something real. Every time you step outside your comfort zone, you’re choosing growth over fear. For me, that started with a fall on a snowy mountain. But for you, it could be something you’d never expect.

Maybe it’s wearing something that you’re worried about being judged for, or walking up to someone you’ve wanted to talk to forever. It could even be missing the shot in the big game, but still smiling because you took it. Whatever it is, that split second of fear before you act—that’s where confidence is born.

Because the truth is, the people you’re worried about impressing or embarrassing yourself in front of? They’re not thinking about you nearly as much as you think they are. And once you realize that, once you really feel it, then you’ll be free.

That fall didn’t just teach me how to get back up. It taught me that confidence isn’t about never failing. It’s about laughing when you do, brushing it off, and getting ready for the next run. So yeah, I caught an edge that day. I blew what I thought was my big shot. But I also learned the most important thing I could’ve learned, that the fear of embarrassment is way worse than embarrassment itself. So this week, I challenge you all to take that risk. Do one thing that scares you, just a little. Because when you stop trying to look perfect, that’s when life actually starts to get fun.